So I basically wanted to have an area online to let some of the stuff I find interesting take shape. Music, Film, Politics, Literature. Nothing groundbreaking, hence your feet are still planted firmly.
Anyways, I wanted to give a brief intro, and then turn it over to my first little comedic post.
My name is Crispen, and I am thoroughly disturbed by Maple Syrup.
Let us begin, by examining this Maple Syrup.
A beautiful hazelnut-tinted liquid. Scrumptious, eh?
A clever disguise, you venomous fiend. Do you know where that Maple-ey Sugary Concoction arose from?
THIS:
Holy Shit! Is that tree bleeding into a bucket? Its bleeding its precious blood into a tin bucket? Oh yes, my dear IHOP traveler. You let these trees bleed for you. Do you like that?
THEN WE BOIL THE BLOOD! Yeah! Ok, does this not bother you? Then this surely will:
Oh no... no, no god. That is a Canadian drilling a hole in a dead stump. They are so craving they even go for that crude stuff. I mean, everyone knows good tree blood is fresh.
WELL NO ONE SHOULD KNOW THAT, THAT IS WEIRD.
Let's reverse this whole role.
Some hurly, burly(great Man Man song, check it out) tree Canadian comes along, calmly stabs you in the chest to let your blood drip slowly into a bucket. Ah, how quickly we would be passing laws against that. Well, I am a firm believer that just because you are not sentient does not mean you should not have a voice in politics.
This is why I have set up the Citizens Council for the Safety of Trees, or CCST(pronounced Tra-eee) to protect our less vocal friends.
I'm drafting up a proposal that would ban all Maple Blood Letting and Importing. Hopefully, and I pray, we end this Vampire-like tradition. We need your help! Write, Email, Troll, Facebook, Myspace, and Serenade your Senator. They fix stuff! I mean, look at how much they have fixed our Nation over the last 8 years.
Sincerely, Crispen
P.S. If we cut it off at the demand, we can demolish at least 67% of the Maple Blood Export. Burn Your Local IHOP!
THEN WE BOIL THE BLOOD! Yeah! Ok, does this not bother you? Then this surely will:
Oh no... no, no god. That is a Canadian drilling a hole in a dead stump. They are so craving they even go for that crude stuff. I mean, everyone knows good tree blood is fresh.
WELL NO ONE SHOULD KNOW THAT, THAT IS WEIRD.
Let's reverse this whole role.
Some hurly, burly(great Man Man song, check it out) tree Canadian comes along, calmly stabs you in the chest to let your blood drip slowly into a bucket. Ah, how quickly we would be passing laws against that. Well, I am a firm believer that just because you are not sentient does not mean you should not have a voice in politics.
This is why I have set up the Citizens Council for the Safety of Trees, or CCST(pronounced Tra-eee) to protect our less vocal friends.
I'm drafting up a proposal that would ban all Maple Blood Letting and Importing. Hopefully, and I pray, we end this Vampire-like tradition. We need your help! Write, Email, Troll, Facebook, Myspace, and Serenade your Senator. They fix stuff! I mean, look at how much they have fixed our Nation over the last 8 years.
Sincerely, Crispen
P.S. If we cut it off at the demand, we can demolish at least 67% of the Maple Blood Export. Burn Your Local IHOP!
